The end of treatment.

Today, I had my last radiation treatment. I'm glad it's all over. I saw Dr. Gore yesterday and since there weren't any issues, I will see her again for follow-up in January. At my last session today, I received a certificate that says "Happiness is the last day of radiation!". I also got to bring home the mesh mask that was used to ensure I was positioned correctly every day. I was going to ask for it anyways, but they offered it to me. In the photo below, you can see some of the markings they used to ensure I was lined up correctly with the lasers built into the ceiling. You can also see an outline of part of the area that received radiation.

My radiation mask

When I left radiation for the last time, the two technicians that were working gave me a hug. I thanked them for everything and left. Maria took a half day off work to spend time with me in celebration of finishing treatment. We met up at home, then had a great lunch at Ruby Tuesday and saw a movie.

My next steps now are: 1. to have my port removed as soon as possible and 2. get a PET scan in December and meet with Dr. Fenske for the results. I anticipate the results of the PET scan being good and hoping to hear that I am officially in remission.

I guess tomorrow my life returns to normal... well, as normal as it can be. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about everything right now. I should feel more excited or relieved, but I think the daunting prospect of having to find a job is weighing heavily on my mind. I am glad I don't have to go to the hospital on a regular basis anymore. Maybe once I am told that I'm officially in remission, I will feel more happy. For now, I'm OK and trying to be optimistic.

Eleven down, six more

Things have been going really smoothly so far. I am in and out of treatment in 15 minutes or less each day and I have been able to do whatever I feel like doing.

At this point the only side effect I am experiencing is a sore throat, which was to be expected. It started out pretty mild about 4 or 5 days ago, but has been getting progressively worse. It's not unbearable, however certain times are painful. When I sneeze, it feels like part of my throat and the inside of my ear are being ripped out. It's not nice, and I've been sneezing a lot lately due to allergies. I also felt my throat hurting when I ate breakfast yesterday. I made the mistake of eating toast, and the dry, rough bread didn't feel so nice going down.

Luckily, I saw Dr. Siker and Dr. Gore after treatment. Dr. Siker was more friendly and calm than at our first meeting. I enjoyed talking to her for those few minutes. When I told her about the sore throat, she gave me a prescription for a numbing solution that I can take before eating. She also told me to take Tylenol for the pain. I first used the solution before dinner last night. It's a combination of several ingredients, one of which is lidocaine. It feels odd because it does make the parts it touches numb, so for awhile, I could feel that tingling numbness on my tongue, lips, and the back of my mouth. It did help though, because I was able to eat dinner without any issues. It doesn't taste the best, but it's not awful either. The solution has a slight minty taste to it and has a creamy consistency - probably to better coat the throat.

I'm so glad that I only have six more radiation treatments left. This will be done soon and I can return to a somewhat normal life again.

An unwanted change

Each Monday after radiation I am scheduled to meet with my doctor. The only problem is, they have changed my doctor on me. Back in August, I first met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Schultz and a resident, Dr. Wood. Then in September, I saw Dr. Wood again at the radiation planning session.

I remember being told briefly that Dr. Schultz would be out of the office, but I thought it was just at the end of September and beginning of October. To my surprise, when I received my radiation schedule, I saw that I was actually going to be seeing a Dr. Gore each week. I wasn't sure what happened to Dr. Schultz but since I only met with him once, it wasn't a big deal. I figured at least I would still have Dr. Wood, who I really liked. He explained things thoroughly and just came across friendly and knowledgeable.

Today, while waiting to see Dr. Gore, a new resident came in. Her name was Dr. Siker. I can't say I liked the change. It may be too early for me to judge since I didn't have any questions or issues to discuss, but when she came in the room, she didn't seem very prepared and seemed in a rush. She had to look up on the computer what I was being treated for and what part of me was being treated. Other than asking me if I had any problems, side-effects or questions, she quickly looked in my throat, which seemed like an afterthought. She and the nurse then left the room. Her whole interaction with me was maybe 60 seconds.

After a few minutes waiting, Dr. Gore came into the room, with Dr. Siker and the nurse behind her. She said that even though we hadn't met before, she "knew all about me," and explained that the residents rotate every 3 months, so Dr. Wood was now at a different hospital and Dr. Siker was the new resident. She also mentioned that Dr. Schultz was out of the office and she took over some of his patients. I mentioned to her that I've had a weird taste in my mouth lately, and she stated that was normal. She then confirmed that I had no other questions or issues and that was it. Again, it couldn't have been more than a minute total. I literally spent more time in the office alone waiting for them to see me than the time that was actually spent meeting with me. I hate when that happens.

One week down... two and a half more to go

I started radiation therapy on Monday. The week just flew by for me. I can't believe I'm already done with almost 1/3 of my radiation. At this point, unless more are added, I will have a total of 17 treatments. I go to Froedtert Hospital for treatment every weekday at 10:45am. I will see a doctor each Monday after treatment. I think the original doctor I met with, Dr. Schultz, is unavailable this month, so I am scheduled to see a Dr. Gore instead.

At my first treatment on Monday, they took multiple x-rays, scans and eventually, gave me the radiation. It took close to an hour for everything, which was a long time because I was laying on the table with my head locked in place by the mesh mask that was made at the planning session a couple weeks back. It didn't help that they had trouble taking one of the x-rays and also had to readjust where I was laying on the table in order to give me the radiation. After the appointment, I had imprints on my forehead from the mesh mask. They didn't go away for hours!

This is what my face looks like immediately after each treatment due to the mask.

My treatments on Tuesday and Thursday would have been fine except that their computer crashed while I was on the table. Luckily it happened before the actual radiation part started. My treatment today was perfect. I was on time for my appointment at 10:45am and was back in my car by 11:05am. Here is what happens at each appointment:

• There are multiple technicians involved in administering the treatment, usually three of them each day. Although I don't see the same three every day, I have seen most of them at least 2-3 times this week. There are a couple women most often and during the last couple days, a male student as well.
  
• After one of the techs walks me from the waiting room to the treatment room, I lay on the table and get situated so the back of my head and neck sits on a plastic holder.
• A cushion gets put under my knees and I am given a ring to hold onto so that my hands are resting on my stomach.
• The mesh mask is placed over my face and is clampsed onto the table so that it stays in place. Usually during this process, I have to adjust the angle of my head and neck so that my face fits into the mask just right. The mask feels tight all over, especially on my forehead and chin. I can understand why some people feel claustrophobic because of it. I don't love the feeling of being locked in place, but I deal with it fine.
• The table is raised and moved into a specific position.
• The technicians leave the room and a CT scan is done. This scan helps them ensure that the radiation is directed at the right area.
• After the scan, a tech moves the table into a different position and leaves the room again. Now the first dose of radiation comes. I believe (but never confirmed) that this dose comes upwards from underneath me. I would say this first dose lasts about 20-30 seconds. The machine makes a buzzing/screeching noise when the radiation is happening. I wish that it didn't.
• After the first dose of radiation, a technician comes back in, moves the table to yet another position, and then leaves. The machine also rotates it's position so that part of it is over my left side. Again, I haven't asked, but I believe now the machine is directing the radiation down at me, from the front of my neck toward the back. Just like the first dose, the machine makes the buzzing noise while the radiation is happening. The second dose seems to take longer than the first dose, but still probably only around 30 seconds at the most.
• At this point I am all done. A technician takes the mask off my face, removes the knee rest, and walks me out to the exit.
• On a good day, like today, where the computer isn't crashing, this whole process only takes approximately 15 minutes.

So far, I don't think I have experienced any major side effects. I have had a weird taste in my mouth the last few days, so I'm pretty sure that is from the radiation. Other than that, I feel fine. I really can't believe that I'm already one week into treatment. I'm so excited that I'm almost done with treatment for cancer and that I will be able to really start looking for a job again. I feel bored and lonely all the time and I can't wait for things to get back to normal somewhat.

My new look

I really lost a lot of hair during chemo - not all of it - but a lot. Every day I have hair in my hands after shampooing, my towel is full after drying off, and there is hair all over the bathtub, sink, floor, etc. My pillow and even the headrests in our car have my hair all over them!

Although I'm now done with chemo, I know it will probably take awhile for my hair to start growing back in and I just couldn't stand the way it looked any longer. I normally have a thick head of hair that I style to ensure I leave the house looking good. Since starting chemotherapy, my hair, especially the top, is so thin that just trying to style it and make it look decent each day was a frustrating experience. So on Tuesday, I finally took the plunge and had my hair buzzed off.

my new (and hopefully temporary) look

In the photo, it may look like I have a normal amount of hair still, but I really don't. In person, you can see tons of my scalp. I can't say that I love my new look, but it will be less irritating for the time being. Plus, I do have my cool fedora to wear as needed.