Our team, Reese's Pieces, is doing great! We have raised almost $1500 and have a goal of $2000 with just under a month left until the walk. An email was sent out that identified the top 10 fundraising teams so far, and our team is in 7th place, so that's awesome!
I had a great lunch with Jada and Wednesday and we worked out some ideas to hold a yard sale and lemonade stand at my house on September 12th with all proceeds benefiting the Light The Night Walk for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Hopefully many members of the team will join us and help raise money at the sale and maybe some of our friends and family will stop by to show their support as well!
If you haven't yet, please consider making an online donation to me in any amount. It's super easy, it's tax deductible, and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Click here to visit my donation page today!
Friday, August 21, 2009
I HATE CANCER! (a rant)
Why is there cancer? That's something I ask myself almost every day. I hate it. I hate having it. I hate that others get it. I especially hate that many people die from it. Already in my life, I've had my grandma that I was closest to die from lung cancer because she was a smoker. Seeing her towards the end was so scary and very sad. She regretted the years of smoking as she laid there dying. Our friend's dad had to be treated for prostate cancer last year, but at least is doing great now. A former co-worker friend had Hodgkin's Lymphoma about 12 years ago and kicked it's ass! Sarah, who I only knew as the sister of a friend of a friend originally, now is my lifelong cancer buddy (whether she knows it or not) since she was also going through chemotherapy for Hodkin's Lymphoma at the time I found out that I had it. She has been such a big help to me, answering my questions and just sharing her opinions on what we've each been dealing with. Although she has had a hard road to recovery, she is finally done with chemotherapy and doesn't have to have radiation and today she is cancer-free! But then yesterday, I got a message from another former co-worker friend that her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in June, which has now spread to her lymph nodes. This just sucks so much. I don't even know the woman yet I began to cry when writing my friend back. I wish her and her family the best on what I imagine will be a long road to recovery.
I really wish my friends and family would stop smoking, cut down on drinking, eat healthier food, exercise, and do the best they can to prevent getting cancer, because I'm only 31 and cancer has already affected my life and the life of people I know and care about in so many ways, that I just can't take anymore.
I really hope they figure this cancer shit out some day and there really is a cure or even better, a way to prevent it. I know treatment options have come a long way over the last 30 years, but there is still a long way to go. That is why I decided to walk to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society next month and will continue to do so every year until I no longer can.
I really wish my friends and family would stop smoking, cut down on drinking, eat healthier food, exercise, and do the best they can to prevent getting cancer, because I'm only 31 and cancer has already affected my life and the life of people I know and care about in so many ways, that I just can't take anymore.
I really hope they figure this cancer shit out some day and there really is a cure or even better, a way to prevent it. I know treatment options have come a long way over the last 30 years, but there is still a long way to go. That is why I decided to walk to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society next month and will continue to do so every year until I no longer can.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Maybe I'll get some sort of super powers!
On Friday, Maria and I met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Schultz, to discuss the plans for radiation treatment after I'm done with chemotherapy. We spent a good deal of time with Dr. Wood, a resident, first. He explained much of the radiation process, risks and benefits. Dr. Schultz came in afterwards, reiterated some of what Dr. Wood said, and answered any other questions we had.
I really was hoping I could skip radiation altogether. Even though people can be treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma with chemotherapy only, years of data has proven that a combination of chemo followed by radiation therapy has the highest success rate for curing this cancer.
Dr. Wood explained that there is a possibility of me getting a different cancer in the specific areas they radiate, but that chance is 1/4 of 1% per year. So extremely low, although because I'm "young," the longer I live the more chance of that happening later on as those quarter percents add up. (I put the word "young" in quotes, because I'm 31 and I sure don't feel young anymore.) I asked Dr. Wood why would I need radiation if the chemotherapy ends up completely getting rid of the cancer. This is one of those cases where the benefits outweigh the risks. The risk of having the Hodgkin's come back if I don't have radiation is much higher than the risk of getting a new cancer from the radiation.
The radiation used for my specific situation will be milder than people with other types of cancer. I'm pretty sure the phrase "well tolerated" came up. I would receive treatments 5 days a week, with the actual radiation portion of each appointment lasting only minutes. Dr. Schultz said I would receive the treatments for 3 to 3 1/2 weeks total. The most common side effects I may experience would be some pinkness to the skin, like a light sunburn; loss of hair on the back of my head and on my neck; and sore throat. Dr. Wood mentioned that the top of my lung may be in the area that is radiated, so I could develop a cough for a time. These should all go away within a few weeks of the treatments ending. Long term, I will need to have my thyroid function checked and could end up on thyroid medication if the radiation affects it. Due to the thyroid's location in the neck, it can't be avoided completely.
As part of the preparation process, I will have a mold made of my face and neck. This will be used to ensure I am in the exact same position at every treatment. They will also do a CT scan to figure out where everything is inside my neck. They will then angle the radiation to avoid important things, such as my spinal cord. When I go for radiation each day, I would receive two doses, one coming at me from the front and one from the back. Each dose would last about a minute and a half. Apparently it seems similar to getting an x-ray, so I won't even know when exactly it's happening.
Dr. Wood said that people can and do work while receiving radiation treatment, so I should be able to accept a job offer, even one where I'm talking on the phone all day, should I find one.
Overall, I feel more comfortable about getting the radiation treatments. I still would rather not have it done, but I told myself I would do whatever needed to get rid of this cancer and not have it come back. This is what is needed to accomplish that.
I really was hoping I could skip radiation altogether. Even though people can be treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma with chemotherapy only, years of data has proven that a combination of chemo followed by radiation therapy has the highest success rate for curing this cancer.
Dr. Wood explained that there is a possibility of me getting a different cancer in the specific areas they radiate, but that chance is 1/4 of 1% per year. So extremely low, although because I'm "young," the longer I live the more chance of that happening later on as those quarter percents add up. (I put the word "young" in quotes, because I'm 31 and I sure don't feel young anymore.) I asked Dr. Wood why would I need radiation if the chemotherapy ends up completely getting rid of the cancer. This is one of those cases where the benefits outweigh the risks. The risk of having the Hodgkin's come back if I don't have radiation is much higher than the risk of getting a new cancer from the radiation.
The radiation used for my specific situation will be milder than people with other types of cancer. I'm pretty sure the phrase "well tolerated" came up. I would receive treatments 5 days a week, with the actual radiation portion of each appointment lasting only minutes. Dr. Schultz said I would receive the treatments for 3 to 3 1/2 weeks total. The most common side effects I may experience would be some pinkness to the skin, like a light sunburn; loss of hair on the back of my head and on my neck; and sore throat. Dr. Wood mentioned that the top of my lung may be in the area that is radiated, so I could develop a cough for a time. These should all go away within a few weeks of the treatments ending. Long term, I will need to have my thyroid function checked and could end up on thyroid medication if the radiation affects it. Due to the thyroid's location in the neck, it can't be avoided completely.
As part of the preparation process, I will have a mold made of my face and neck. This will be used to ensure I am in the exact same position at every treatment. They will also do a CT scan to figure out where everything is inside my neck. They will then angle the radiation to avoid important things, such as my spinal cord. When I go for radiation each day, I would receive two doses, one coming at me from the front and one from the back. Each dose would last about a minute and a half. Apparently it seems similar to getting an x-ray, so I won't even know when exactly it's happening.
Dr. Wood said that people can and do work while receiving radiation treatment, so I should be able to accept a job offer, even one where I'm talking on the phone all day, should I find one.
Overall, I feel more comfortable about getting the radiation treatments. I still would rather not have it done, but I told myself I would do whatever needed to get rid of this cancer and not have it come back. This is what is needed to accomplish that.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Good news, disappointment, and a crappy day
Yesterday was my fifth chemo treatment. That would be Cycle 3, Day 1. I woke up unusually tired feeling that morning and as usual I was not looking forward to getting treatment. I'm always concerned about the nurses and techs having trouble with my port, I know that it's always a long day, I know that each chemo treatment brings me about a week of feeling like crap in various ways. I just hard to feel happy on those days. It really hit me when we were pulling into the Froedtert Clinical Cancer Center parking structure. That is when I felt most down about everything that was yet to come.
My lab work was scheduled for 11:30am. We got there a bit early and they called me in pretty fast. Must have been a slow day. Thankfully the tech had no trouble accessing my port, unlike the last two visits. What did affect me is the saline flush they do. They flush the port/line with saline from a syringe before they draw blood and then again afterwards. Every time, I can TASTE it. It is just an awful taste that I can't even describe. It sort of tastes like it smells - medicine-y. Some people say metallic-y. I don't go around tasting much metal so I can't say that's what it's like but either way its horrible. I've begun sucking on hard candy while they do it but it doesn't help much. Yesterday was the worst ever. When the tech flushed at the end of the blood work, I gagged. I had to force myself not to throw up instantly from the taste. It was really terrible.
After the lab, we had about 45 minutes before my appointment with Dr. Fenske. Maria and I shared an unhealthy lunch in the cafeteria. Nothing really looked good, so we got fried chicken with sides of macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes w/gravy. They probably even shouldn't sell that fattening of food in a hospital, should they? The chicken was pretty tasty but the sides were bland. At least we were sharing one entree, so we didn't have to feel as bad about how unhealthy we were eating. Oh, we also topped it off by sharing a piece of Elegant Farmer Apple Pie. We couldn't resist. We've always wanted to try their pie, but never felt right spending $13 on a pie before. It was super delicious!
On to my appointment with the oncologist. First, they called us back late, and then it took awhile for Julie, the nurse practitioner to come into the room, and then after she left, the doctor came in. So the good news is, based on the PET scan I had the day before, the cancer has shrunk drastically. If I remember right, it's now something like 2cm x 1cm in size. The nurse and doctor seemed very pleased with the progress. On a side note, they also both are impressed that I still have a full head of hair. Of course, I lose a bunch everyday, but overall it still looks good - just thinner than normal.
The doctor also talked to me about my options for continuing treatment. I could go the normal, time tested approach of having less chemo followed by radiation -or- I could try the less tested approach of skipping radiation and just having more chemo treatments. I really wanted to avoid radiation if possible. There are risks to having radiation but there is also a slightly higher risk of having the cancer come back if I don't have the radiation. Since I told myself at the beginning of this that I would do what it takes to get rid of it, hopefully for good, I told him we should include radiation. I'll be seeing the radiation oncologist next Friday for a consultation. I think talking to him will help me truly decide if that is the best option for me or not. Since I still have 3 more chemo treatments to go through before radiation would start, I'm pretty sure I can still change my mind. A lot of it depends on where exactly they want to radiate. If its just my neck, that's one thing but if they want to do any lower, near my chest - that may be a deal breaker for me.
So even though I received good news about the cancer shrinking, I didn't feel happy about it. I think in my head I already worked out that the cancer would be amazingly gone already so I would just need to finish up the planned chemo and could skip radiation altogether. I realize that's not rational and I'm normally a very logical person, but it's just what I've been hoping for I guess. So finding out the cancer is still there, just much, much smaller and that I should still have radiation was disappointing somewhat.
Since the doctor appointment ran late, I was late checking in for chemo. The appointment was for 1:30pm, but I checked in around 1:50pm. You'd think they would have been ready and waiting for me to show up, but no. Instead, we sat around some more. They finally took us back to start around 2:30pm. I warned the nurse about my gagging on the saline flush earlier that day. I did OK when she flushed at the beginning of chemo but at the end of it when she flushed again, I nearly lost it. More than a gagging, I really had to control myself from throwing up. On the way out of the hospital, I stopped to use the restroom and I almost threw up in the sink while washing my hands. It really sucked. I felt nauseous for a long time. Just thinking about the saline taste would make me feel sick again. I had to keep my mind off it. Eventually with some fresh air, deep breathing, and trying not to think about it, I was OK. Maria and I ate dinner and ran to a few stores on the way home. After all that, I was just exhausted from the long, crappy day.
My lab work was scheduled for 11:30am. We got there a bit early and they called me in pretty fast. Must have been a slow day. Thankfully the tech had no trouble accessing my port, unlike the last two visits. What did affect me is the saline flush they do. They flush the port/line with saline from a syringe before they draw blood and then again afterwards. Every time, I can TASTE it. It is just an awful taste that I can't even describe. It sort of tastes like it smells - medicine-y. Some people say metallic-y. I don't go around tasting much metal so I can't say that's what it's like but either way its horrible. I've begun sucking on hard candy while they do it but it doesn't help much. Yesterday was the worst ever. When the tech flushed at the end of the blood work, I gagged. I had to force myself not to throw up instantly from the taste. It was really terrible.
After the lab, we had about 45 minutes before my appointment with Dr. Fenske. Maria and I shared an unhealthy lunch in the cafeteria. Nothing really looked good, so we got fried chicken with sides of macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes w/gravy. They probably even shouldn't sell that fattening of food in a hospital, should they? The chicken was pretty tasty but the sides were bland. At least we were sharing one entree, so we didn't have to feel as bad about how unhealthy we were eating. Oh, we also topped it off by sharing a piece of Elegant Farmer Apple Pie. We couldn't resist. We've always wanted to try their pie, but never felt right spending $13 on a pie before. It was super delicious!
On to my appointment with the oncologist. First, they called us back late, and then it took awhile for Julie, the nurse practitioner to come into the room, and then after she left, the doctor came in. So the good news is, based on the PET scan I had the day before, the cancer has shrunk drastically. If I remember right, it's now something like 2cm x 1cm in size. The nurse and doctor seemed very pleased with the progress. On a side note, they also both are impressed that I still have a full head of hair. Of course, I lose a bunch everyday, but overall it still looks good - just thinner than normal.
The doctor also talked to me about my options for continuing treatment. I could go the normal, time tested approach of having less chemo followed by radiation -or- I could try the less tested approach of skipping radiation and just having more chemo treatments. I really wanted to avoid radiation if possible. There are risks to having radiation but there is also a slightly higher risk of having the cancer come back if I don't have the radiation. Since I told myself at the beginning of this that I would do what it takes to get rid of it, hopefully for good, I told him we should include radiation. I'll be seeing the radiation oncologist next Friday for a consultation. I think talking to him will help me truly decide if that is the best option for me or not. Since I still have 3 more chemo treatments to go through before radiation would start, I'm pretty sure I can still change my mind. A lot of it depends on where exactly they want to radiate. If its just my neck, that's one thing but if they want to do any lower, near my chest - that may be a deal breaker for me.
So even though I received good news about the cancer shrinking, I didn't feel happy about it. I think in my head I already worked out that the cancer would be amazingly gone already so I would just need to finish up the planned chemo and could skip radiation altogether. I realize that's not rational and I'm normally a very logical person, but it's just what I've been hoping for I guess. So finding out the cancer is still there, just much, much smaller and that I should still have radiation was disappointing somewhat.
Since the doctor appointment ran late, I was late checking in for chemo. The appointment was for 1:30pm, but I checked in around 1:50pm. You'd think they would have been ready and waiting for me to show up, but no. Instead, we sat around some more. They finally took us back to start around 2:30pm. I warned the nurse about my gagging on the saline flush earlier that day. I did OK when she flushed at the beginning of chemo but at the end of it when she flushed again, I nearly lost it. More than a gagging, I really had to control myself from throwing up. On the way out of the hospital, I stopped to use the restroom and I almost threw up in the sink while washing my hands. It really sucked. I felt nauseous for a long time. Just thinking about the saline taste would make me feel sick again. I had to keep my mind off it. Eventually with some fresh air, deep breathing, and trying not to think about it, I was OK. Maria and I ate dinner and ran to a few stores on the way home. After all that, I was just exhausted from the long, crappy day.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Time for a new PET... and not the fluffy kind!
Today I had another PET scan. It was supposed to happen Monday, but the machine wasn't working right so they called me to reschedule. I thought I would be more nervous than I was. It was pretty uneventful. I was hoping they wouldn't use the port to put the radioactive tracer in me - and they didn't. I also got to listen to music on my iPhone during the 45 minute sit-and-be-still while the radioactive shit works its way around, as well as during the actual scan. I chose one of my favorites, Jason Mraz, to listen to because his music is very calm yet awesome.
Maria took off work to take me to the scan, although I could have went alone. It really was no big deal. It was nice though that we got to have breakfast together afterwards before she headed to work for the remainder of today.
I'll find out the results of the scan tomorrow when I see my oncologist and get my 5th chemo treatment. As usual, I'm not looking forward to treatment and the week of feeling like crap. I'm hoping the PET scan comes back with good results - then I will truly know the chemo is working and the crap that goes along with it is worth it. I keep hoping that the scan will come back showing the cancer is gone already, but I don't know how realistic that is. It sure would be nice though.
Tonight I have class. 3 classes left and I will have officially earned my A.A.S. degree in Marketing Management. I'm so ready for a break from school. You would think that since I'm not working, school would be a welcome change and I'd be happy to attend class each week and do homework for something to do, but that's not how I feel at all. I've been going for 2 years straight with no breaks and I'm ready to be done for the time being.
My team for the the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Light The Night Walk keeps on growing and raising money! It is really awesome. Just over a week and the team has already raised $1085.00! I had to raise the goal again - to $2000 - so that there is always something to strive for. Our team will likely have over 20 people participating in the walk on September 17th!
Remember, if you haven't already, please sponsor me and donate whatever you can using this link. Every little bit helps towards fighting blood cancers such as Leukemia and Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
Maria took off work to take me to the scan, although I could have went alone. It really was no big deal. It was nice though that we got to have breakfast together afterwards before she headed to work for the remainder of today.
I'll find out the results of the scan tomorrow when I see my oncologist and get my 5th chemo treatment. As usual, I'm not looking forward to treatment and the week of feeling like crap. I'm hoping the PET scan comes back with good results - then I will truly know the chemo is working and the crap that goes along with it is worth it. I keep hoping that the scan will come back showing the cancer is gone already, but I don't know how realistic that is. It sure would be nice though.
Tonight I have class. 3 classes left and I will have officially earned my A.A.S. degree in Marketing Management. I'm so ready for a break from school. You would think that since I'm not working, school would be a welcome change and I'd be happy to attend class each week and do homework for something to do, but that's not how I feel at all. I've been going for 2 years straight with no breaks and I'm ready to be done for the time being.
My team for the the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Light The Night Walk keeps on growing and raising money! It is really awesome. Just over a week and the team has already raised $1085.00! I had to raise the goal again - to $2000 - so that there is always something to strive for. Our team will likely have over 20 people participating in the walk on September 17th!
Remember, if you haven't already, please sponsor me and donate whatever you can using this link. Every little bit helps towards fighting blood cancers such as Leukemia and Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
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