Not too bad

It's Monday morning, now four days after my first chemo treatment. I never got very sick this weekend. Besides a couple small things, the biggest side effect seemed to be how tired I was yesterday. I woke up at 8am, but fell asleep on the couch for quite awhile during the day and just generally felt run down. In general, I didn't feel too nauseous which is good. I am supposed to take my nausea medicine for the first three days after chemo and then only as needed. So far I haven't taken it today, and I'm hoping I won't need to. I'm wondering if it will take another treatment or two before I really feel the side effects or if maybe this is a good sign that I'm going to be luckier than most. I still can't believe some of the swelling on my neck has already gone down. It's a nice visual confirmation that the chemo is working, even this early on.

One thing I did struggle with all weekend was pain and just being uncomfortable. I don't think it was from the chemo though. I have a herniated disc in my upper back, which I always am in a constant struggle with to be comfortable. I also noticed the spot where the bone marrow biopsy took place also hurts still and sitting or lying in different positions seem to make the pain more noticeable. I think it even radiates out from there to other areas depending on what I'm doing.

I also felt a little depressed at times yesterday. Nothing major, just an overall sad feeling of the "why is this happening" and "I don't know if I can handle this" variety. I'm trying to remain as positive and optimistic as I can, but I'm sure I'll have more days like that.

Today is going to be a gorgeous day outside it seems. If I feel up to it, which I think I will, I'm going to pick up some groceries and just try to be out while I can. I'm worried that once my white blood cell count drops in a few days, I'm going to be stuck at home alone all summer avoiding germs in the hopes that I don't get sick.