Band-aids and popsicles

At my treatment on Thursday, I saw my oncologist, Dr. Fenske and his nurse, Julie again. Julie asked all sorts of questions and I told her about all the different side effects/pains/feelings I had after each of the first two treatments. Nothing I told them about seemed to concern them, which I'll take as good. The doctor suggested I take the lorazepam they prescribed me for nausea for those nights when I'm feeling anxiety and having a hard time falling asleep since it will help any of those issue. They also said my lab tests looked good (liver, electrolytes, etc.). Of course my white blood cell counts were low, but that's expected. They seemed really happy that they could not visually see the cancer in my neck anymore and were also surpised that I still have a whole head of hair. I see them again in a month. I will have one more treatment and a PET scan before then, which will help them determine the progress of the cancer and chemo. I'm really hoping that the chemo will work on me so well that I won't have to have radiation therapy. If I need to, I of course will get it, but I really hope I won't need it.

I did have an issue after the chemo that freaked me out. Normally after the chemo, they put a band-aid over my port where the needle went in. Usually there is no blood or maybe one dot only. Well this time there was plenty of blood. The pad on the band-aid was soaked in blood and my undershirt had quite a bit soaked in as well. It wasn't bleeding anymore but I knew it wasn't normal. I worried the nurse that administered the chemo didn't do something right to "close up" the port or something. I also figured it could have been because of the nurse that put the needle in the port that morning. She missed the right spot and couldn't get blood to return, so she had to rearrange the needle inside my port a few times until the blood flowed. I called the hospital and an on-call doctor contacted me. He said to clean it up and bandage it. If it stopped bleeding then I was OK. If it keeps bleeding more than a little, then I would have to go to the ER because something is wrong. Well, it never bled again, so I just stayed home and hoped for the best. I thought about calling my doctor's office the next day for peace of mind but didn't. That's so unlike me.

This latest chemo treatment has really been taking it's toll on me. The first two days, which included my birthday on Saturday, were OK but not great. Like last time, my taste buds were extremely off. Nothing tasted right, or good for that matter. I drank mostly water those days because nothing else tasted good. Eating was hit or miss. Things didn't taste bad necessarily, just different and very mild. The main flavor I seemed to be able to taste was salt, so I'm sure I added more salt to things than necessary.

I also started feeling tired out sooner than I did before. After my first two chemo sessions, I started feeling tired on Sunday. This time, I already started feeling it a bit on Friday and for sure on Saturday. On Friday, I was already yawning by 8:00pm but we still went over by Kime & Frank's house and hung out with them and Sacha & Mark. I had a good time - it's nice when I can be out of our house, even if only to be at somebody else's house. On Saturday I slept in and then also took a nap in the early afternoon. I was really feeling tired. My dad, sister and nephew came over to visit for my birthday. We just sat outside in the nice weather and also played a game of ladderball. It was especially nice to see my nephew, since he is now 2 years old and I've only seen him one other time in the last year and a half. It's weird being called "Uncle Mike" because I'm so used to my cousins calling my dad that. Maria's nieces generally just call me "Mikey," although they know that I'm their uncle. Later on after everyone left, my mom and step-dad came over to grill out. I'm sure I was yawning all night, but still had a good time. I ate a small piece of grilled chicken, a huge grilled baked potato and some corn. The potato and corn really tasted good to me, even though I'm sure it was the extra salt I was mostly tasting.

Sunday and Monday were mostly spent with me lying around on the couch, watching TV and occasionally falling asleep. I just didn't feel up to doing anything. I felt the normal "chemo pain" in my body, although still milder than after my first treatment. I was also having really bad mouth pain. One of the side effects of the chemo is mouth sores because of the types cells the chemo kills. I can combat the pain by eating cold things like popsicles, but it still really hurt this time. I don't think I have any actual sores, just pain from the chemo.

Today, I was hoping to feel better than I do. I figured since the side effects started earlier, they might end earlier. While the mouth pain today is minimal compared to the last few days, I'm still really tired and run-down feeling. I knew I had to get to the store for a few basics like milk and bread, so that was my goal today. It took all the effort I had to get dressed and ready to go. At the store, it was really hard to walk around and push the cart. Although I was only there maybe 15 minutes, I had no energy to shop. I'm sure I was walking around at the pace of an elderly person. By the time I got home from the store, I was feeling exhausted. You would think I just ran a marathon. Even sitting here typing this blog post is a challenge. I keep taking short breaks from typing where I just sit back and sit still.

I have class tomorrow night, the first class of my last six-week course for my degree. I really wish it was over already. I already have homework due tomorrow that I haven't yet started. I just haven't been in the mood for school since this whole cancer ordeal began. At least the end is in sight for school, just not quick enough.